For so long I have been thinking and saying that yoga (amongst many things) creates space in the body.
Never has it meant so much to me before. I am pregnant again, just coming up to 16 weeks and I desperately need to make more space in my body, particularly in the coming months.
I was certain that this time I would be Earthmother. Being my third time around I knew what works in pregnancy and childbirth and what doesn’t. But how easily we forget. I was unprepared for the sickness, hormonal surges, cravings for bread and sugar and general lethargy.
I struggled with the mental image of the Elle Macpherson yummy mummy I visualised I would become as I munched on fennel and sipped smoothies, and the actual proof of me as I trudged through my first trimester with a plastered smile on my face as the beer-swilling world carried on without me.
In the end it comes down to letting go of expectations and accepting yourself and any potential outcomes for what they are. It is far worse to judge yourself.
However … There was never a worse time for my practice to lax.
Days of headaches, (that I still suffer) days of nausea (now passed thank goodness) and general intrusions into my routine saw sometimes a week pass with no practice.
I couldn’t even practice at home because my house was a building site.
There was never a more pressing need to work on other areas of my life which I could have balanced with my yoga, but chose not too.
But there was never a worse time to have allowed my practice to lax.
I forgot my own lessons!
I forgot that yoga soothes the crowding thoughts in our mind by providing the tools of meditation and pranayama.
I forgot that yoga opens the meridian channels by massaging and stretching them, and unblocks the super highways of pranic energy in the nadis that criss cross our body not unlike connective tissue.
I forgot that yoga calms the hormonal fluctuations in the body and rollercoaster states of mind that we all inherited.
Indeed there was never a worse time to have allowed my practice to lax.
But now I am back I feel so much better.
Yogasana pulls my increasingly anterior weight distribution back into balance and gives relief to my spine.
Yogasana releases the tension in the shoulders and neck and giving relief to headaches.
Yogasana is strengthening my body and preparing it for childbirth.
Yogasana and meditation is defragmenting my body and mind and consolidation them as one again.
Pranayama is cooling my system and calming my overly irritated sinuses.
Meditation will prepare me for the pain of childbirth.
And so I shall go on and create more space in my body. To open it and soften it … so that I may not break.